The Pain of Living
by Red-Chan
Summary: Piccolo is fed up with life...and with gohan's love for videl


The Pain of Living  
  
Warning: Little Yaoi...not much its just hinting. And a little kiss. PICCOLO IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OUT OF CHARACTER.  
  
Disclaimer: I own it. Or at least the first 25 episodes of DBZ on DVD! So there! I own as much of it as 15 billion other people! Ok...so I own none of it. But that's not the point the point is that I just got a New Piccolo doll and Im a Happy person in a gloomy mood so don't hate me for the sadness of the Fic.  
  
This is a one-shot story, Unless you all want more and I get like 25 Reviews telling me to 'continue or die.'  
  
Piccolo hovered outside of his long-deserted cave. He had not lived there in seven years. He had been helping Dende adjust to a full-time job as guardian of the earth, so he could finally seek peace. He returned to his cave alone. Hn, always alone. Maybe he could have stayed at the look out. He knew he was welcome there. Piccolo thought as he stood in the cave. No, Gohan had started to train Pan there and he couldn't stand being so close to the one he loved and just sit there. Meditating, near HIM and His CHILD. Videl came up with them last time, and that was it for Piccolo he just couldn't take it. He could not stand there watching Gohan and his happy family any longer. It was driving him insane. So he told Dende that his time on earth was over. That he was needed elsewhere, and that he hoped everyone would understand. But he had to do this, its not like he was any use as a 'Z-fighter'. And his heart yearned for something new, even death would suffice. He could not go on knowing Gohan had only friendship in his heart for Piccolo. He had to end it. End the pain and loneliness, the longing for something, for someone that did not belong to him. he just couldn't stand it any longer, it was just to much.  
  
" Good bye Gohan." Piccolo whispered the last words he wrote in a letter to help make Gohan understand his need for release. "I just couldn't take the pain of living any longer." And with that, Piccolo took his own life and knew that an eternity in HFIL was better then watching Gohan kiss HER one more time. Making him wish it was him not Videl devoted his life to. Piccolo watched as Gohan and Goku appeared in front of him (Goku obviously used I.T.).  
  
"Piccolo!" Gohan took the namek into his arms. "Why?"  
  
"Gohan...It...just hurt...to much..." Piccolo whimpered. "I want you to know Gohan...I love you so much. I...Love..." Piccolo gasped in a vital attempt to breath as Gohan kissed Piccolo full on the mouth.  
  
And when Gohan raised his head, Piccolo, his own true love, was dead. "Piccolo...why...If you loved me, why?" Gohan clutched the Name as Goku read Piccolos note to Gohan aloud.  
  
"Dear Gohan,  
  
I know you do not understand why I did this. Vejita will most likely call me a coward when he finds out."  
  
( all the z-fighters filed into Piccolo's cave, knowing he was gone for they all felt his lowering power level.)  
  
"But it does not matter, because I could not stand by and watch helplessly as the only person I've ever loved, ever cared about, loved another. I could never tell you how much I cared for two reasons Gohan because one, I never thought they mattered, and two, you were happy. I could never give you the life you wanted, needed, Gohan. Even if you did know my feelings I know you do not share them, and that is fine. The pain is gone now Gohan, and...Know that I will miss you Gohan no matter where I go, I will miss you, the boy you were, the man you are now, forever Gohan, forever." Goku paused, and wiped a tear from his eye, and continued reading the goodbye letter form one of his dearest friends to his own son... " Know this Gohan: I would do anything for you, anything but watch you kiss her instead of me. Anything but watch you live the rest of your life with someone that is not I. I would rather rot in HFIL then watch that. I am no longer needed Gohan, and I hope you understand that. Dende has Popo."  
  
Dende, who was standing next to Goku, shook his head in denial. "Piccolo...you'll will always be needed...." he whispered quietly.  
  
Goku continued. " I am no use in a fight."  
  
"Baka!" Vejita interrupted. " Couldn't he see he was a mastermind in a battle?"  
  
Goku spoke again reading the letter aloud, his voice shaking. " I hope this letter makes you understand. And I hope everyone...yes, everyone. Knows how much I treasured their friendship, and loyalty. I care deeply for all of them, they are...my family."  
  
"Why then Piccolo?" Bulma cried out to the dead figure. " If you cared why did you take your life without a second thought to us! Or how we would feel?"  
  
"Quiet Bulma...Let Goku continue." Chichi's voice was small and quiet like, so different then the loud and intolerable woman they all knew.  
  
" Though I never understood them, I...I just....they are all I had. All I will ever have. And I will never forget them. Even when Goku and I fought I felt the bound of friendship growing. Gohan, Tell your father..." Goku choked on his words. "Tell your father thank you for showing me compassion when I showed him none. Tell your mother....Thank you for taking me into her home as one of her own...thank everyone...even Vejita for the friendship and kindness."  
  
" NO!!!" Chichi's strand of control broke and she fell to her knees. "Piccolo, if you cared so much why did you leave...why did you give up? That's not the Piccolo I know, The Piccolo I know, the Piccolo I took in as my son.." Chichi began to cry, she cried for Piccolo, for the person he was, the person she would never really know. Goku drooped the letter and hugged Chichi close to him, holding back his own tears for the friend he lost.  
  
Vejita, Picking up the letter, Continued it aloud for all to hear. " I love you Gohan, Please don't hate me. This is what I want, this is how it should be. Goodbye Gohan. I love you, I just couldn't take the pain of living any longer." Vejita watched as tears were in the eyes of those he him self had grown close enough to call family. He himself was disappointed in the namek. But also, looked up to him in away, because the namek had something he would most likely never truly have: the love and devotion, and even the respect of everyone he had come to know on this planet. And he, just like everyone else in the cave, watched as Gohan said his goodbye to the one he truly loved. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
For three weeks Gohan cried, blaming himself for the pain and loneliness Piccolo went through in his last years on earth. Knowing that if he had told Piccolo his own feelings for him, just once, Piccolo would still be alive.  
  
And seven weeks after Piccolo committed his final act on earth, Gohan son of Goku, one of the last saiyans left, joined Piccolo in the Other World, leaving the pain of living, behind.  
  
~End~  
  
A/N: So do you hate me? Please review I know It was a sad Fic. but you got to admit it....was Really said...I've been in a sadish kinda mood so I really needed to write a 'Aw..' story, anyway there together! Again that was a one-shot story so please don't hate me. Please review and read my other fics!!! 


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